Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
