Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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