adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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