drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize