I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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