Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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