I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
