moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
