Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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