Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize