your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
