sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
