I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
