If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
