Pants 0. Shit 1.
You can't special order awesome
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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