Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
