areolas are like halos for boobs.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
