It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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