we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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