I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
