Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
