At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
