You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
