when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
