I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
