Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
