quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
