I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
