cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
