I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
