Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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