God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
