that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
