if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
