i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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