Whod you bang
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
