Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
