halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
