There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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