i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
