How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
