I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
