but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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