My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
