yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
