just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize