i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
