If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
