i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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