id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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