And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
