Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
