i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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