After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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