So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize