Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
