I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize