I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
