Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
