There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
