So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
