Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
