I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
