If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize